


Outburst

by SadieandJack



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:47:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27590228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack
Summary: When will Grissom say I love you?
Relationships: Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle
Kudos: 1





	1. Outburst

Grissom put his hand on my lower back as we walked up to a lawyer's house to look at his car. The man took an instant dislike for us as he looked at the warrant that Brass gave him. Brass moved the car out of the garage as I got down on the floor smelling it.

"Smells like bleach." I said, looking up at Grissom. He walked outside to talk to the man. I went out walking over to where the three men were standing.

Grissom led me back to the Tahoe parked on the street. We got in and then drove back to the lab. After shift I walked over standing at his office door looking in at him as he prepared to leave.

"Hey." I said, gently.

"Going home?" He asked, as he walked over.

"Yeah."

"You did a good job today." He said

"Thank's." I said

He locked his office walking out with me.

"Grissom, do you….want to go eat somewhere?" I asked

He looked around the parking lot taking out his keys.

"I really need to go home."

"Oh, okay." I said, walking away. He watched me leave then he walked away. I went home slamming my door walking over to the fridge in the kitchen grabbing a beer.

The next shift I worked alone since Grissom had meeting's. When he did appear I was in the garage working on the pieces of the car the lawyer owned. He walked over looking at everything on the floor.

"Find anything?" He asked

"Not yet." I said

I stood looking at him. He reached over taking my gloved hand in his. I looked down seeing I had cut my thumb with something causing blood to pool in my glove.

"When did you do this?"

"I didn't know I did." I said, looking at it.

"I have bandages in my office."

"It's not a big deal. I don't even feel it."

"Sara, you could contaminate everything."

I walked with Grissom to his office watching as he went to his desk getting out the first aid kit he had. He put it on his desk opening it. I sat on his desk swinging my legs back and forth. He put gloves on and then got a band aid as I took my glove off throwing it in the trash. Grissom cleaned the cut as I winched then he put the band aid on my thumb. He threw away his gloves looking at my hand.

"You're good to go." He said

"What, no bubble to work in?" I asked

He gave me a look before putting his kit away. I sighed sitting still as he looked at me.

"Anything else?" He asked

"Nope." I said, getting up. "Thank's."

He nodded watching me leave.

A month went by without another incident. Grissom and I worked cases at times. He was all about work then would go home afterwards.

On a Monday I was walking down the hallway going past a lab room when a loud boom followed by glass threw me against a wall hard. I fell down in a heap lifting my head seeing the body of the worker nearby. Glass was stuck in the woman's head with her eyes open. Coughing I lowered my head smelling chemicals as the sprinklers went off. Grissom ran through the hallways coughing watching people run out to the open air. I stumbled to the corner winching as I blinked looking at people running by me to the door. Grissom coughed telling people to leave as he grabbed his phone. He walked outside quickly as I made my way outside.

I came outside seeing the devastation outside. My foggy dazed brain looking around seeing people holding themselves as blood oozed from the wounds on their bodies. I wondered to a spot that was not occupied sitting down as emergency personnel walked past helping those in need.

Grissom raced around talking to people helping them. He walked looking at people taking in the chaos then he looked at his building seeing smoke floating up into the sky. He looked over seeing me sitting alone looking at the ground. From where he stood he could see the blood on my face and arm.

He walked over quickly kneeling down in front of me.

"Okay, you are really hurt." He said, looking at my wet hair dripping down onto my lap as a cut on my head bled down my cheek. He also saw that my arm was bleeding down my sleeve. "Sara?"

I slowly blinked shaking as I looked at him.

"Honey, you are bleeding." He said, touching my unstained cheek.

"I saw…a woman inside." I said "I'm fine, you should go help her."

"No, I want to help you." He said, touching my arm.

I looked down seeing that he was pulling up my sleeve seeing a jagged cut up my arm. He winched looking at it. I looked at him with no expression on my face. He reached up touching my cheek again.

"Sara, focus on me. I am going to go and find someone to help you."

"I can help clean up the mess." I said

"You need to be looked at." He said

I shook my head looking down.

Grissom turned signaling a paramedic over. He looked back at me slowly helping me up. He let me go with the man. The concern on his face was unmistakable. The man worked on me as I sat on the stretcher numb. Grissom came over looking at me. The paramedic walked over looking at me then at him.

"She's in shock. I had to stitch her arm and her head. Nothing is broken." He said

Grissom nodded touching my head then my cheek.

"I want to take her in make sure she is okay then she can go home."

I moved my head looking at Grissom nod.

"Okay." Grissom said

"No." I said

"Sara, they need to make sure you're okay." He said

"No, I'm fine." I said, getting off the stretcher. The paramedic put his hand on my arm.

"Miss. Sidle, I need you to lie back and be checked out at the hospital."

"I don't want to!"

Grissom motioned the man to leave as he touched my cheek coming closer to me.

"Grissom, I am fine."

"Sara, you think you are fine because you are in shock. You need to go to the hospital and be checked out."

I shook my head as he sighed.

"Honey, I know you hate hospitals, but they will not hurt you."

I breathed in and out fast getting off the stretcher running into the crowd. Grissom followed finding me sitting at the side of the building shaking. He sat beside me pulling me to him.

"It's okay." He said

I closed my eyes listening to his heartbeat. He felt me relax breathing calmly. Looking over he saw the paramedic walking over. Grissom pulled me closer protectively.

"Can we take her now?" He asked

Grissom looked at me then at him nodding. He slowly stood as I looked up at him dazed and sleepy. He picked me up with care walking with the man to put me on a stretcher. I laid against it unaware of what was said or where I was going.

I moved my head to the side as he gently smoothed my cheek.

The next day I arrived at work looking at the hallway that the explosion happened. Already it was being fixed. Grissom walked over looking at me with curiosity.

"Sara?"

"Hmm?"

"You shouldn't be here."

"I want to work."

He looked at the bandage on my head then he touched my arm. I turned looking at him.

"I don't want you here."

I nodded slowly then I looked back at the hallway. He looked over at it then at me.

"Why don't you go home?"

"Okay." I said, not moving.

He waited then he pulled me around walking me out to the front door.

"Go home and rest."

"What about work?"

"Don't worry about that now."

I looked at the front door then at him.

"I don't want to go."

"Sara, there is nothing you can do here." He said "Go home."

I nodded walking to the door then I stopped turning I walked back to him.

"Now what?" He asked

"I can help clean."

"No, you can't."

"Someone has to. I can sweep the glass!"

"Sara, no."

I nodded walking back to the front door. Grissom sighed getting his phone out. I stood at the curb as he came out holding his car keys.

"Want a ride?" He asked

"You have to work."

"No, not yet."

He said taking my arm pulling me to his car. I got in watching as he got in starting the engine. I put my head against the glass closing my eyes as he drove glancing at me concerned. He parked outside my apartment building as I opened my eyes looking around.

"Home sweet home." He said

I got out as he did walking to the stairs. He put his hand on my arm helping me up to my front door. I unlocked the door opening it looking at him. He motioned me inside then he followed closing the door.

"I want you to stay home the rest of this week and rest." He said

I looked at him watching as he came closer looking into my eyes.

"Do you understand?"

I nodded.

"Okay."

He watched me a minute before going to the door. I looked down as he looked back at me as he turned to door knob. He sighed closing the door walking over to me.

"Sara, are you all right?"

"Yes." I said, quietly.

"You're sure?"

I nodded still looking down.

"Look at me."

"My head hurts." I said

"Do you have aspirin?"

"In the bathroom." I said

He led me into the bathroom making me sit on the bed as he went in getting the aspirin. As he got the bottle he noticed a bandage in the trash can by the sink with a blood stain on it. He came out seeing me in the same position looking down. He took out two pills then gave me some water. I drank swallowing handing him back the glass. I laid down on my side looking at the wall. Grissom sat down putting the glass down on the floor.

"Sara, I saw a bandage in the trash with blood on it."

"That's from yesterday."

"Is your head still bleeding?"

"No."

He watched me close my eyes then he looked at the bandage on my head. Gently, he reached over taking it off carefully. I opened my eyes looking at him as he looked. The stiches were small and neatly done. He took the bandage all the way off seeing a blood stain on my middle part.

"I'll be right back." He said

I watched him leave then I closed my eyes again. He came back with a bottle of something. I felt a stinging which made me open my eyes winching. He was cleaning my head with a cotton ball soaked with peroxide.

"If you don't keep this clean it will get infected." He said

I swallowed moving some looking at him.

"I started drinking again." I said

He stopped to look at me.

"Not all the time, just when I needed a boost."

He shook his head dabbing my head again.

"I'm disappointed in you."

"Sorry."

"What is the reason this time?"

I didn't answer as I looked at him.

"Me?" He asked

"No."

"Yes." He said "Sara, you need to find someone that can treat you well and can fill that void in your life. I can't be that person."

"What will it take for you to see me?" I asked

He sighed putting down the cotton and bottle of peroxide looking at me. He put the bandage on my head then he sat back.

"I do see you."

"No, you don't. You think you do, but you don't."

"I saw that you were hurt yesterday. It scared me."

"You called me honey." I said

"Sara, if I had feelings for you then I would tell you, but I don't have any except as friends."

I nodded moving to look at the wall. Grissom stood looking at me.

"I should go."

"Bye." I said

He nodded leaving.

I came back to work the next Monday. Grissom took a case with Nick and I took one solo. He chose to avoid me for a while until I was over this silliness. One shift I was walking around a high school football field looking at tracks leading from the dead girl in the middle of the field to a shack on the left side of the field. I heard a noise behind the shack. Jumping I got my gun out slowly walking along the side taking a calming breath. Reaching the side I jumped again when a bloody hand grabbed the corner.

"CSI!" I shouted

A guy with blood covering him came out. I gasped seeing a wound in this stomach. He choked reaching out to me. I then watched him fall to the ground.

"I need an ambulance!" I yelled

A noise behind the shack caught my attention. Swallowing, I raised my gun again walking over slowly to look. Shining a light I saw nothing. I took a breath looking around then I turned to go out. A hand pulled me back covering my mouth. I was pulled away dropping my gun and flashlight. I breathed in and out fast as I was dragged into a door by I assumed a man.

"I don't want you here!" He said, against my ear. He threw me down on a hard floor then hit me hard in the head causing me to fall to the ground. Brass quickly walked over with Grissom to the shack to talk to the officer standing around.

"She can't have just vanished!" Brass said

"We found her gun and flashlight." The officer said, handing them to Brass. Grissom looked at the gun and the flashlight worried. He knew his feelings were not normal, but as he tried to suppress them they became stronger.

"Search everywhere!" He shouted

Grissom looked around stopping at the shack.

"Is there a way of getting in there?"

"Padlocked, the only one to have the key is the coach."

Grissom walked over looking at the padlock still in place. I slowly moved to my back feeling my head split. Voices outside were faint, but I could hear them. The room was pitch black. I groaned in pain closing my eyes. The man had long gone leaving me.

The coach walked over to Grissom and Brass with his keys in his hands.

"No one can get in here." The man said

"Your positive?" Brass said

"I check it over after I lock it. There is a back door, but I check it to." The man said, unlocking the padlock taking it off the door. Grissom watched Brass walk over slowly opening the door.

"Gil!" He said

Grissom flipped on his maglite seeing me lying on the floor.

"Sara!" He said, walking in kneeling down beside me. "Sara, can you hear me?!"

The couch walked in seeing me.

"How did she get in?!"

"Obviously you didn't check the back door." Brass said

"Jim call an ambulance!" Grissom shouted

I moved my head as Grissom touched my neck then he moved my hair.

"You're going to okay."

I was wheeled out to an ambulance with Grissom following. He got in the back with a paramedic. He took my limp hand in his.

I moaned a few hours later sensing I was not alone. Someone leaned over me touching my head.

"Sara, can you hear me?"

Slowly, I opened my eyes seeing Grissom. He smiled a little searching my eyes.

"Grissom?" I said

"Your going to be okay."

I closed my eyes drifting as he stood back rubbing my hand. Brass asked me what happened, but I could not remember. I sat on my couch a week later as Grissom brought me some coffee in a mug as he sat down beside me.

"It feels good to sit." I said

"I'll bet." He said

I looked at him drinking from his mug. He looked at me as I stared at him.

"What?" He asked

"I bet you're a good kisser."

He almost choked on his coffee.

"What did you say?!" He asked

"I said I bet you're a good kisser." I said

"That's what I thought you said." He said, shaking his head.

"Are you?"

"Sara, I can't talk about this."

"Have you ever kissed someone before?"

"Of course I have!"

"Then what did they say?"

"Nothing, can we talk about something else." He said, putting his cup down on the coffee table. I put mine beside his then I moved over facing him. He seemed stunned by the turn of events.

"I imagine you are." I said

"Sara…I.."

"Ssh." I said, touching his lips. My finger slowly moved across his lips. "You have pouty lips."

He almost laughed taking my hand away.

"I think we should talk about something else."

"Have you ever thought about kissing me?"

"No."

"I have about you."

He looked at me in silence.

"The first time I thought about it was when we were in that room in that apartment. The one where the guy blew blood out on the walls with his nose."

"Sara." He said

I slowly leaned in waiting for him to move or say something. I stopped before touching his lips then I went for it. Grissom closed his eyes allowing me to kiss him gently. I moved back opening my eyes looking into his.

"How was it?" I asked

He moved standing walking away. I quickly got up seeing him at the door with his back to me.

"Grissom, I didn't mean to offend you."

"You did more than offend me." He said

I walked over looking at his back.

"Look, please stay. I promise I will never mention this again." I said "I have always loved you from afar and it just got the better of me. I'm sorry."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"What else can I say?"

"Not that."

"I will do anything to make this right. I will transfer to day shift."

He turned looking at me.

"When I first met you I saw something special. I took you under my wing showing you how to better yourself in your field. You came here at a moment's notice and I saw how much you grew to become an exceptional person."

I watched him walk over to me.

"Then for some reason you changed. Our relationship changed into an uncomfortable daily struggle for me."

"Grissom, I'll leave."

"You can't leave."

"I will. You can hire someone else."

"Who do you suggest?"

"I don't know. Anyone that doesn't make you uncomfortable."

"The lab need's you."

"You've said that before. The lab does not need me." I said "I'll transfer."

He watched me walk away. He left as I laid on the couch hugging myself.

Grissom went home going to bed. He laid in the darkness looking at nothing thinking about me. His insides were hurting at the prospect of me leaving. He sat up turning on the lamp on the bedside table. His hands went to his head as he thought about me. He went out to the kitchen taking out a full bottle of scotch getting a glass pouring out a small amount then he walked into the living room sitting on the couch turning on the light. He looked down at the glass moving the liquid around in circles. Gulping it down, he winched as it went down his throat taking his breath away.

"I can't let her go." He said, out loud.

The next day I came to work walking to Grissom's office. He watched me hold out the paper to him.

"Transfer effective immediately." I said

He took it from me looking at it.

"I can't sign this."

"Why not, it's filled out correctly."

He stood leaving the form on his desk as he walked over shutting his door. He walked back over looking at me.

"Sara, you are not transferring."

"This is what you want."

"No, it's not. I want you to understand my view on this!"

"Okay, what is it?"

"Sara, I need you on the team."

"That's it?"

"Your not making this easy."

"I think I am making it easy. I go and you never have to feel uncomfortable again."

"You are one of my best CSI's. I need you on the team."

I sighed looking down.

"Grissom, either you sign that or….I am just going to have to leave. I can't do this anymore. It's becoming to painful."

He watched me walk to the door.

"Sara!"

I stopped turning to him.

"Even if I could…tell you that I….love you. It's not like I could act on it."

"Are you saying that you do love me?"

He swallowed looking at me pained.

"No, I…do not."

I walked over to stand close to him.

"Grissom, this is the time to act on it."

He stared at me not moving a moment then he turned getting a pen from his desk signing the paper lifting it up to me.

I took it looking at it then at him.

"Well, it's been nice to work with you." I said, walking to the door leaving. He leaned back against his desk sighing.


	2. Chapter 2

I started day shift the next day. I missed the excitement of night shift, but I had to get away from Grissom. Sometimes I would see him coming in early to his office. More than once I caught myself admiring his body in his work clothes.

One day I was walked down the hallway when he and Catherine were walking past going to an early meeting. He looked at me as he walked with her nodding at something she was saying. I looked at him then down as I walked by. My heart ached for him.

A few weeks later his team and mine went on a group crime scene. A plane went down just outside of town causing devastation for miles. Fires still blazed in the woods making the night sky light up. I walked down to the site smelling burnt flesh. It got worse with every step. Nick walked up towards me stopping as he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Prepare yourself it is very bad down there." He said, before making his way up. I looked at him then I went down all the way. To keep from gagging I breathed through my mouth. Closing my eyes I tried to stop the sensation of throwing up. A hand touched my arm as I opened my eyes seeing Grissom with a CSI hat on looking at me.

"You okay?" He asked

I nodded watching him step up so he was in front of me. He searched my eyes as I did his.

"Breathe through your mouth." He said

"I will." I said

He nodded before leaving to walk past. We worked the scene nonstop. I walked along the burnt trees looking at things that would turn anyone's stomach. Stopping I looked up seeing a doll hanging from a tree. I stared at it captivated.

"Anyone see Sara?" My supervisor Russell called out.

"I think she's down in the woods." Someone called out.

Russell looked around not seeing me. He cursed under his breath getting his cell phone out calling me. He sighed as it went straight to answering machine. He walked over making his way down the hillside. Grissom and Greg were standing looking at a piece of metal on the hill when Russell came down.

"Have you two seen Sara Sidle?"

Grissom looked around as Greg shook his head.

"No, why?"

"She needs to be on her break. I think she might be in the woods."

"I can look for her." Grissom said

"Thank's." Russell said

Grissom nodded walking away looking around.

"Sara?" He called "Sara!"

I walked further down the hill looking at a river below. Climbing down I looked at the water seeing someone's shirt lying on a log in the middle next to a rock. I sat down on the ground looking at it. Grissom walked down seeing me. He made his way towards me.

"Sara?" He called

I turned standing looking at him.

"What are you doing down here?"

"I just wanted to….sit a minute." I said

He nodded looking at how tired I was.

"It's terrible up there." I said

"I know. Russell said you needed to take your break."

"Oh, I forgot." I said, sitting back down.

"Why don't you come up and eat something?"

"I'm not hungry." I said

He watched me look out at the water.

"The water looks nice." I said

"Yes, it does. Relaxing." He said

I leaned over touching it.

"Sara, when did you sleep last?"

"I can't remember."

I put my wet hands to my face.

"Perhaps you should use this break to take a nap."

"There's a shirt out there. I think I can get it."

Grissom looked over seeing it.

"No, it's to far out." He said

"I bet I can." I said, standing walking into the water.

"Sara!" He shouted

I made my way to the shirt wading across when it get deeper. Grissom felt his head starting to hurt as I reached the rock untangling the shirt from the log then I started to come back. He sighed watching me swim back over. I walked back over throwing the shirt on the ground as I shivered dripping wet. Grissom grabbed me shaking me.

"That was a dangerous thing to do!"

He breathed in and out fast.

"You could have fallen and hit your head!"

"I'm sorry." I said

He let me go touching his pulse on his neck as he walked away from me.

"Are you okay?" I asked

"My pulse is racing!"

"I'm okay. I didn't mean to upset you." I said

He turned looking at me. His hands went to my cheeks as he stared deeply into my eyes.

"Sara, I don't understand why you do things. You make me worry about you all the time! I can't let you continue to test me!"

"Grissom." I said, searching his eyes.

"Will you stop taking risks if I tell you I love you?!"

I swallowed feeling my heart pound in my ears. He watched me come to terms with what he just said.

"You….love me?"

He slowly nodded as I felt tears come down my cheeks.

"Grissom!" Someone above called out.

Grissom looked up the hill then at me. He let me go then climbed up the hill stopping to look at me. I wiped my eyes looking up at him.

"Grissom!" The voice called again.

"Coming!" He shouted

He looked at me again then walked up. I sat back down touching my chest. I came back up after a few minutes not seeing him anywhere. After his admission work seemed unimportant. All I wanted was his arms around me. Russell made me go to the Tahoe he drove and lay down after I changed. I laid down in the back seat closing my eyes. People walked by talking as I listened. The door opened and I sat up seeing Grissom talking to someone to his right then he climbed in closing the door looking at me.

"Hey." He said

I stared at him as he sat on the floor.

"Russell said you were lying down."

"Did you need me?" I asked

"Not for anything out there." He said

"I can't sleep." I said

He moved closer nodding taking his hat off.

"Sara, I wanted to talk to about earlier."

"Okay." I said, looking down.

"Everything is confusing right now and I just wanted to tell you that I was sorry for yelling at you down by the river."

"Oh, that's okay."

"I acted like you were my employee when you're not anymore."

"I was acting reckless."

"Well….yes."

He sighed looking at me.

"Then….you don't love me?"

He moved to sit next to me.

"Sara, I meant that. I do love you. The problem is that I am not good at that stuff."

I move closer putting my head on his chest. He put his arms around me kissing my head.

"Love to me is an intimate subject. I was scared to tell you."

I raised my head as I moved facing him.

"Grissom, nothing matters more to me than you. Hearing you say that has made me happy in a way that I have never been before."

He pulled me against him kissing me. I felt his intensity that he finally allowed out. Everything seemed to come into place. People talked outside again and he moved back looking out then at me.

"I should let you sleep."

"I can't now." I said

He moved getting his hat opening the door looking back at me. He put his hand to his mouth then he closed the door. I leaned back in the seat floating on a cloud.

We all went back to the lab working. Russell made me take some time to rest and eat. I sighed annoyed over his decision as I walked down the hallway.

Grissom arrived looking rested and ready for work. He stopped to look at the mail in his box at the front desk before looking over at me.

He put his mail down walking over to me.

"I hope your going home."

"Russell has banned me from coming back." I said

"Good." He said

I yawned putting my hand to my mouth.

"You look ready to collapse."

"I still have hours left in me."

He put his hand on my elbow walking me outside to the fresh air. We walked to my car and he opened my door stopping me from going in.

"Sara, are you okay to drive home."

"I think so." I said

He leaned closer kissing me. I was so tired I just stood there feeling his arms come around my lower back. He moved away looking at my still closed eyes.

"Honey, open your eyes." He said, smiling.

"There to heavy." I said

"I am not letting you drive."

He got his phone out pulling me against his chest. I laid my heavy head against his chest faintly listening to him talk. He hung up putting his phone away before picking me up taking me to his car. I didn't argue as I just laid against him. He opened his car door setting me in then he went around getting in seeing I was already sleeping.

I moved in bed feeling someone next to me. The person was awake and looking at me. I snuggled into a warm chest feeling an arm encircle me.

"Sara, I have to leave soon." He said, gently.

"Leave?" I said, muffled into his chest.

"Work."

"What's that?"

He smiled touching my hair.

"Will you be okay?"

"Mmmhmm."

"You will eat?"

"Mmmhmm."

He moved my head kissing me.

"Promise?"

I nodded.

He touched my head then he got up. I moved to my side hearing him leave. My phone went off causing him to come back in grabbing it as I moved.

"Hello?"

"Grissom?" Russell said

"It's me."

"Are you with Sara?"

"I drove her home. She and I met outside. I was concerned about her going home."

"I need her back."

Grissom looked at me.

"Why?"

"I need her to fill in for one of my people that needs a break."

"I can help you."

"All right." He said, before hanging up. Grissom looked at me then he went out.

Russell watched Grissom come in to the garage ready to work.

"Can you help me sort this rubber?"

"Of course." Grissom said

They went to work sorting quietly. Grissom glanced at Russell then he looked down.

"Russell, I would like to ask a favor of you."

"A favor?" The man asked

"I want Sara back."

"Gil, you know I am low on staff as it is. Sara is the best I have so far."

"I understand, but I can give you people if you want."

"The problem is no one wants to work day shift. It's not like night shift."

"I am sure we can work something out."

I came back to work a few hours later still tired, but feeling better. I walked back to the garage seeing Grissom working with Russell. They were piecing together the plane.

"Hey Sara." Russell said "You look better."

"Thank's." I said, looking at Grissom.

"Ready to work again?"

I nodded.

"I need you to go to the morgue and talk to Doctor Robbins about the bodies found."

"Okay."

"Russell, I'll talk to you later." Grissom said, walking out with me.

"Thank's Gil."

Grissom walked alongside me to the hallway leading to the morgue. He looked behind us then he pushed me behind some carts kissing me. I moaned as he pulled me closer. He moved away smiling at me.

"Did you eat?"

I shook my head making him frown.

"Sara."

"I forgot."

"You need to stop that."

"I know."

"I need to do paperwork. I am going to order some food and I want you to come and eat."

"I'm going to be busy."

"You can make time."

I looked at his lips then returned to his eyes.

"You really care about me don't you?"

"I really do." He said, searching my eyes. "I have to go."

I nodded looking at his lips again. He smiled looking at me then he let me go walking away. I took a breath going to the morgue.

Grissom came looking for me hours later. I was coming out of the bathroom when he pulled me away.

"What's going on?" I asked

"You are eating!" He said

He pushed me into his office. My stomach hurt as I saw he had set out food on his desk for me.

He walked over pulling out the chair for me to sit. I slowly walked over sitting down.

"Now, I have a sandwich and a big salad for you." He said, putting the food in front of me. He walked around his desk sitting at his desk looking at me.

I picked up the plastic fork taking some lettuce eating.

"Is it good?"

I nodded chewing. I watched him continue with his paperwork. Minutes later I sat back in the chair moaning that I had eaten to much. Grissom looked at my half eaten sandwich and the salad that was only eaten halfway.

"Are you sure you have eaten enough?"

I nodded rubbing my stomach.

"I can't move. I should get back to work."

He smiled looking at his watch.

"Well technically you are off work in five minutes."

I stood groaning as I winched.

"It hurts."

I went and laid down on his couch sighing. He watched me then he got up forgetting his work to sit down on the couch touching my stomach.

"Sit up." He said

I slowly sat up and he moved to sit behind me pulling me back to lay on his chest. He kissed my head as I touched his arm laying across my chest.

"Someone has to take care of you." He said, against my hair.

"I do."

"Not anymore."

"I'd like you to." I said, smoothing my lips against his hand.

He and I sat in silence enjoying our time alone.

I went home going to bed. The next shift I went back to the garage to work. Russell came in seeing me. He walked over looking at my progress.

"I found the bolt that you wanted." I said, holding a large bolt for him to see.

"Good." He said, taking it. "Sara, I wanted to talk to you something. Grissom want's you back on his team."

I stood looking at him.

"Oh."

"I wanted to know how you felt about it."

"Well….I would like to go back, but if you need me I can stay."

"I would like that, but if you want to go back…."

"I'll stay. I am used to the daylight now."

"Great, I'll let him know."

Later I was leaving when I saw Grissom walking in stopping he looked at me.

"Hey." I said

"Russell told me that you wanted to stay on day shift?"

"Yeah, I want to."

He pulled me to the side of the building.

"Sara, I want you on night shift."

"I am used to day shift now."

"I need you on the team."

I put my arms around his back pulling him closer.

"Gris, I would like to be with you again, but I was thinking that if the truth came out that we are dating then Ecklie would pounce on us. This way he can't touch us."

Grissom put his head against mine closing his eyes. I lifted my head kissing his.

"I am not happy about this, but you have a point." He said

"You go to work and I will go home."

He nodded moving away from me. I watched him leave then I walked out.

That night I moved in bed tossing and turning. It was hot outside as well as inside. I turned on my fan lying back down. A knock at the door made me jump. I walked out peeking to see it was Grissom. He smiled as I opened the door.

"Look at you." He said

I looked down seeing I was drenched in sweat.

"It's hot in here."

"You want to come back to my place. I have air conditioning."

"I do to, but it's busted."

"Come with me."

I nodded going in packing things. Grissom drove us to his place where I took a shower then put on some pajamas walking out seeing Grissom was ready for bed also.

"Thank's for letting me stay." I said

"You can stay as long as you want." He said, kissing me.

He led me to the bedroom and I stopped looking at his door.

"Something wrong?" He asked

"No, it's just….that's your room."

He looked at the door then back at me.

"Do you want to sleep in the spare room?"

"I would like to be with you."

"Okay." He said

I smiled walking in with him. I laid down watching him climb in beside me turning off the light. He settled down yawning putting his arm over my hip. I closed my eyes listening to his breathing. He started to breathe slower with a gentle snore. I looked over at him in the dim light watching his relaxed face. I felt very lucky to have him. He moved to his back moving his head to the side.

When he did wake he noticed I was gone. He moved watching me come in smiling at him.

"Good morning." I said

"Good morning." He said, sitting up a bit. "Going to work?"

"I actually called in and told Russell I was sick."

"Oh?"

I climbed on his lap straddling him. He looked at me surprised then he put his hands on my sides.

"I want to be with you."

"I see."

"Grissom, I don't want to go to fast in this relationship. We need to get used to each other."

I said, touching his shirt.

"I agree."

"Do you mind if we don't….you know for a while?" I asked

"Whatever you want to do."

I leaned over kissing him then I got up. He pulled me down so I was laying across the bed. I laughed as he moved over kissing me. We spent the day relaxing on his couch. He read while I napped against him. He cooked us a dinner before he went to work. I ate some spaghetti chuckling as half of it hung from my mouth. Grissom leaned over taking the end in his mouth eating it till he got to my mouth.

"It's even better that way." I said

"Your right." He said

"This has been the perfect day."

He nodded taking our plates putting them in the sink.

"I'll drive you home." He said

He parked outside my apartment.

"If you want to come over tonight let me know." He said

"I'll be fine." I said "Thank you."

He grabbed my hand before I could get out.

"I love you."

"I love you." I said

He nodded watching me leave.


	3. Chapter 3

I smiled at Russell as we walked together down the hallway. He told me a story about something that happened to him a year ago making me laugh. He carried a file with him as I held a paper. Grissom appeared at the front desk coming in early again for work. He heard me laughing looking over seeing Russell and I walking his way.

He faced us looking at me a moment longer than he should have then he looked at Russell.

"You're here early." Russell said

"I had some paperwork to do. It appears you two are getting to know each other."

Russell nodded looking at me.

"Sara, has become an asset to the team."

I smiled looking at him then at Grissom.

"She knows some good stories."

Grissom smiled nodding.

"Well I have to work. So, I will see you two later."

"Bye." Russell said

I watched him leave wanting to say hello in private.

"Sara?"

"Hmm?" I said, looking at Russell.

"I have to go and talk to Brass about our suspect. I will see you later." He said, walking away.

"Bye." I said

He waved walking around the corner. I took the chance walking to Grissom's closed door. Peeking in through the blinds I saw him working at his desk. Slowly, I turned the doorknob opening the door going in then shutting it locking the door. Grissom looked over at me smiling.

"So, what are you really doing here this early?" I asked, walking over putting my paper down on his desk.

"Working." He said

"I thought you came just to see me." I said, moving around the desk to stand next to his chair.

"Well the truth is I couldn't sleep." He said, sitting back in his chair.

I nodded moving closer swinging my legs over his straddling him.

"Perhaps because I was not there."

"Could be." He said

I touched his shirt looking at him. He reached up touching my hair.

"I like your hair this way."

"Short?"

"Wild."

"I brushed it in a hurry."

He smiled nodding. I put my head on his shoulder breathing on his neck. He closed his eyes laying his head against mine.

"Grissom, I want to stay with you."

"You can tonight."

"I mean now."

I moved back looking at him.

"You need to go home and sleep."

"I miss you."

"Honey, I would love to have you stay, but you can be a distraction."

"When have I been?"

He smiled touching my cheek.

"How about last time I did paperwork. You came in here and sat on my desk."

"How is that a distraction?"

"That isn't, but lifting your shirt was."

"I can sit quietly."

"No, I know you are tired."

I sighed looking down. He moved forwards kissing me. I moved back smiling at him as he smiled back.

"I better go." I said, standing.

He sighed letting my hand go as I walked over grabbing my paper leaving slowly. I went home to awake to sleep. I watched TV waiting for Grissom to call me. When he did I was out the door making my way to his place. He was just arriving getting out of his car as I met him at the sidewalk. He kissed my head then with his arm around my middle he walked me up his stairs to his front door. He ordered some take out walking over to the couch where I sat. As he sat down I moved over pulling him down on the couch. He chuckled as I leaned over him smiling.

"Honey, what are you doing?" He asked

"I have been thinking that this should be the night."

"For what?"

"You know."

"Oh, are you sure?" He asked

"It's been a month. I am ready."

"All right." He said

I leaned down kissing him slowly as he pulled me closer. I moved my lips along his neck to his ear. He closed his eyes moving his head to the side letting me continue. I could feel his pulse start to race as mine did. He and I were caught up in each other when the doorbell went off.

I sat up looking down at Grissom.

"I forgot….takeout." He said "Can you get it?"

"Okay." I said

He gave me the money then he laid back rubbing his head. I smiled walking over opening the front door. I gave the man cash then I walked back to where Grissom was sitting up looking at me.

"Hungry?" I asked

"I was."

I sat down looking at him.

"Want to wait?"

"Yes."

He stood taking my hand leading me to the bedroom. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. Grissom took his time as I laid there perfectly happy. When it was over I looked over at Grissom trying to get his breathing back to normal as he looked at the ceiling. I moved over touching his bare chest.

"You okay?" I asked

He nodded.

"Well….was it….everything you hoped for?"

"I…never….had…that happen." He said

I kissed his chest as he took a long breath.

"We'll have to do it again soon."

"Yes….very soon." He said

"I'm hungry."

"We have….food in there."

"I'll get it." I said, getting out of bed putting on his shirt walking past him to the living room. He sighed rubbing his face as I came in with the bag.

He sat up watching me place the bag between us then I sat down opening the containers.

"This is yours." I said, handing him the first one.

"Eating food in bed is very provocative." He said

I almost laughed as I ate my food.

"You make it sound dirty."

"Just stating a fact." He said

"I like your bedroom." I said, looking around.

"Thank's."

"Lots of space." I said

"I enjoy having a lot of space."

I nodded agreeing. He ate then he looked at me.

"Would you be interested in staying here on a permanent basis?"

I stopped chewing looking at him.

"You mean move in?"

"Would you?" He asked, looking at me.

I put down my container and stood walking around the bed to his side. I sat down taking hand.

"Grissom, I love you so much, but I need time. I don't want to mess this up."

Grissom squeezed my hand.

"Honey, you won't mess this up. I have thought about this for a while and I need you here."

"There are so many things you don't know about me."

"I know what I need to know. You are afraid."

"Yes, I am." I said, standing.

He stood pulling me against him.

"Sara, when you're ready then let me know. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do."

I nodded against his shoulder.

A few weeks went by and I still was afraid. Grissom didn't push me into anything which I was grateful.

Russell and I went to a scene to a farm house with a creepy barn that looked like it had seen better days. We worked inside seeing a woman in a night gown lying down the stairs shot in the back. I knelt down looking at the wound as Russell looked in the living room. I walked in looking at him.

"This house reminds me of my grandparent's farm."

"Where was it?" He asked

"California. It was creepy just like this one."

Russell nodded walking past me to the old kitchen. We entered the kitchen seeing the back door open swinging slowly back. Russell froze turning to look at me. I got my gun out as he did walking slowly to the door catching it with his finger slowly pulling it back. He motioned me to follow. We peeked out both directions then walked out carefully. The back yard was large with small buildings nearby. A field was beyond it. Russell motioned me to come with him to the farthest little building. I ran over with him looking around.

He silently told me to go around the other side. I nodded making my way over. We both appeared seeing nothing. I sighed looking across at the other building.

"Maybe it was just a breeze." I said "It is kind of windy here."

"I have a feeling someone is here." He said "I am never wrong."

I walked with him to the old barn looking over at the two cops watching us by the house.

"Will you two search the house?" Russell called

"It was clear." The one said

"Search it again!"

The cops walked over annoyed. I walked into the barn as Russell joined me looking in. He leaned into to whisper in my ear.

"You go right."

I nodded turning as he went to the left. The barn creaked when the wind picked up outside. I looked at everything seeing if anyone was moving. Russell looked on his side holding his gun down. A noise above me made me jump. I looked up seeing a board coming down hitting me in the head.

Russell ran over hearing the noise up in the loft. He leaned down touching my neck feeling a pulse then he walked over pointing his gun up. A cop appeared as he signaled up. The cop slowly went up the ladder yelling at the man hiding. Once he was taken in cuffs Russell ran back over to me moving me to my back.

"Sara…..Sara!" He called

I moved my head slowly opening my eyes.

I argued with Russell telling him I was fine. He drove us back to the lab still unsure if I was really okay. I walked to the building telling him I was going to get an aspirin. Walking to the locker room I felt my head throbbing. Taking some aspirin I made my way to the break room to get some coffee.

I came back to work with Russell, but he asked me to lie down for a bit. I refused working as he sighed watching me.

Grissom came to work seeing Russell walk over to him motioning him to a quiet place in the hallway.

"Gil, I want to talk to you about something."

"Okay." He said, looking at his friend concerned.

"When you had Sara with you was she stubborn?"

"Very, why do you ask?"

"We were at a scene today and a board hit her in the head. I begged her to go to the hospital and she refused then I asked her to lie down. Again, she refused. What is your secret?"

"Stubbornness and authority."

"I'll have to try that."

"Where is she?"

"In trace."

"Do you want me to talk to her?"

"No, I think I can handle it."

He watched Russell go. I came out of trace seeing Russell walk over.

"Any good news?" He asked

"Not yet."

He nodded looking at me.

"Sara, I can take over."

"I want to help."

"No, I think you need some time to rest." He said, taking the paper from my hands.

"Russell, I am on the case."

"I know, but you were also hurt."

"I'm fine."

Grissom walked over stopping as he watched us.

"It would ease my mind if I knew you were taking care of yourself." He said

I sighed looking down.

"Sara, please go home and rest. The case will be here tomorrow."

"Fine." I said

He nodded looking over at Grissom then he walked away. I watched him go then I turned seeing Grissom walking over slowly.

"Hey." He said

"Hi." I said

"You okay?" He asked, searching my eyes.

"I suppose."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No." I said, walking past him. He followed me to the locker room. I opened my locker looking over at him as he leaned against one. I closed my door walking over.

"Head hurting?" He asked

"I knew you knew about this."

"Russell, told me." He said

I nodded looking down.

He watched me sit down on the bench.

"I took some aspirin."

"Any dizziness?"

"No." I said

He sat down beside me kissing my head.

"Why don't you come to my office and lie down?"

"Why?"

"Because I can keep an eye on you there."

I smiled faintly looking at him.

"Okay."

We went to his office and I laid down on his couch. He put a blanket over me then went over turning the light off except for his light on his desk. I closed my eyes feeling safe knowing he was near.

He left sometime later leaving the door closed as I slept. I felt lips on my cheek as I moved my head.

"Honey, it's time to go." He said

"Where are we going?" I asked, opening my eyes.

"Home."

"My home?"

"My home." He said

I sat up winching as I touched my head.

"Headache?" He asked

"Yeah."

He helped me up taking me out to his car. We arrived at his home after he stopped getting us something to eat. I took two more aspirin after eating Chinese. He took me to bed allowing me to sleep in peace. I still slept as he called Russell telling him I was not coming in. He slid into bed behind me touching my arm.

"Honey, I made breakfast."

I didn't move as he kissed my neck.

"Sara." He said, louder.

"Hmm?" I moaned

"You have to eat."

When I didn't move he moved me to lie on my back looking down at me. My tee shirt had ridden up and he traced his finger along my soft stomach. I moved my head as he continued to trace.

I moved my shirt down groaning making him stop.

"Are you going to get up?"

"No."

"Are you in a bad mood?"

"Yes." I said

He smiled looking at me.

"Well, I am going to eat."

I felt him get off the bed and leave. I opened my eyes looking around the room hearing him whistling in the next room. Something smelled good making my stomach grumble. I sat up feeling sick. Covering my mouth I closed my eyes trying to stop thinking about it. Grissom came in with some toast hearing me throw up in the bathroom.

"Sara?" He called, knocking.

I laid my head on the toilet seat hearing him knock.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"I….just need a minute!" I said

He stayed still listening.

"I….I'll….be out soon."

I threw up again then I laid on the floor. Grissom knocked again concerned.

"Can I come in?"

I got up flushing the toilet then I opened the door looking at him. He touched my head then he put me in bed. I slept through the day finally getting up at one. Grissom worked from his desk in his living room seeing me come in.

I watched him stand coming over to me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I'm sorry I freaked you out."

"I was just concerned. I think you were hurt more than you know."

I nodded looking at him.

"Sara, I know I said I would not push you, but I want you to be here instead of at your apartment."

"Grissom, I told you that I…."

"I know, but I think this just proves you need to be taken care of. I want that job. I want to protect you."

"What if….?"

"Honey, we can't let fear take over. I worry every time you leave to go home."

He hugged me against him as I trembled.

"Sara, if you can't move in with me then…marry me."

I moved away from him in shock.

"Grissom, marriage that's…another issue!"

"Are you telling me no to both?"

I walked over sitting in the chair near the couch putting my head in my hands. Grissom watched me silently as I thought about it. Everything I wanted was coming true. I could not pass this up despite my fears. I slowly stood looking at him.

He came over waiting.

"Grissom, I want to marry you." I said


	4. Chapter 4

Grissom walked to the front door of the building only to stop as I came out seeing him. He looked me up and down then he came closer.

"Hello dear." He said

"Hello." I said, smiling.

"Going home?"

"Yes, and to bed."

"You forgot to kiss me goodbye this morning."

"You were sleeping."

"I would have woken for that." He said

"Well what about now?"

"Here?"

"Yes." I said, getting closer looking at his lips.

"I think some privacy would be helpful." He said

"Okay." I said

I pulled him to the side of the building then I pushed him against the wall of the building giving him a kiss he would never forget. He tilted his head moaning as I deepened the kiss. I moved back looking at him.

"How was that?"

He cleared his throat looking around then at me.

"Thank you." He said

I sighed as he took a breath getting control of himself. He felt me touch his cheek as his eyes found mine.

"You can tell me what you're feeling."

"I am feeling contented, and now I have to work."

"That's it?"

"What else do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, that I am really turning you on." I said, coming closer barely touching his lips.

"Sara, you do turn me on, but this is hardly the right place to show you how much." He said

I smiled before kissing him again. He moved back sighing as he looked at my lips before my eyes.

"You need to go home and take a cold shower and I need to work."

"Fine." I said, moving back.

He pecked me on the cheek then walked back to the front door. I went home changing in some of Grissom's pajamas then I laid in bed smelling his scent on his pillow.

He came home finding me stretched out on the bed. He changed walking over looking at me. He gently slid me over to my side then he got in lying down. I moved over lying over him. He froze as I put my head on his chest with my arm hanging off his side. He felt me breathe deeply then he closed his eyes.

When he next woke I was kissing him. I moved back looking down at him.

"You're awake!" I said, smiling.

"Yes, what is on your mind?" He asked

"You are." I said, leaning down kissing him. I heated up the kiss giving him an idea about what I was up to. Grissom rolled me over taking the lead. A few minutes later I put my head on his rapidly breathing chest as he rubbed his head lying on his back.

"Your heart is racing." I said

"I….know."

I smiled closing my eyes. He sighed trying to calm down. I lifted my head kissing his chest looking at him. He closed his eyes slowing his air intake. I moved up touching cheek. He opened his eyes looking at me.

"I really get you going." I said

"When…you do….that….thing….with your legs."

"I'll stop that." I said "I don't want to give you a heart attack."

"It's…okay." He said, touching my hair.

I sat up reaching over to my bedside table getting a cigarette lighting it. Grissom frowned at me as I sat smoking in bed touching his chest.

"Sara….you know I don't like that."

I looked at him then at the cigarette.

"Gris, I have to have one."

He sat up watching me blow out smoke.

"You told me you were going to stop."

"I did, but in cases like this I want one." I said

I blew out more smoke watching him get out of bed putting on his robe. He pulled me out of bed making me put on a robe then he led me to the back porch.

"You smoke out here." He said

I sighed shivering some as he shut the door. I came back in chilled then went back into the bedroom seeing he was wearing pajamas lying on his side in bed. I got in snuggling against him.

"You stink." He said

I sighed getting out of bed taking a shower and brushing my teeth. I got back into bed hearing him snoring. I laid on my back looking over at him then at the ceiling.

I woke hearing Grissom talking on his phone. He came into the bedroom speaking loudly as he walked around the bed tapping me motioning to his watch before walking back out. I sat up tiredly looking around.

I went to work feeling like I hadn't slept. Grissom came in early for meetings. After an interrogation I walked down the hallway fed up with the case and the man I had just questioned.

Grissom walked out of Ecklie's office walking seeing me ahead of him.

"Mrs. Grissom!" He called

I stopped frowning turning to look at him. He smiled walking over.

"What's with the frown?"

"I don't have time to talk." I said

"Okay." He said

I walked on then stopped again. Grissom watched me walk back towards him planting a kiss on his lips. He didn't move as I moved back looking at him.

"Bye." I said, leaving. He stood watching me with his mouth open.

I went into the garage where Russell and another CSI were talking. He walked over to where I was seeing I was in a mood.

"Interrogation not go well?"

"You could say that." I said

"He knows he's guilty." He said

"I wanted to punch him!" I said

Russell put his hand on my arm.

"Sara, if you feel like you need to talk to someone."

"I got Grissom for that."

"Well, when he is busy come see me."

"I will."

He left me to grumble as I looked at the trunk of the SUV.

I came into Grissom's office lying down in his couch putting my arm over my eyes. My head pounded after a terrible shift. I remembered the pills one of my coworkers gave me in case of bad days like this. Getting up I went to the locker room finding the prescription bottle in my locker. Hesitantly, I opened them looking the capsules inside. Taking out one, and then two I closed it putting it back going to the water fountain in the hallway taking them.

Grissom came home hearing the stereo playing. He looked at his watch then he walked into the kitchen seeing I was scrubbing the sink. I turned running up to him hugging him.

"Hello!" I said

"Hey, what are you doing?" He asked

I moved back smiling.

"Cleaning!"

"Oh, it looks good in here." He said, looking around.

"Thank you." I said, running back to the sink scrubbing.

He watched me in silence then he got a bottled water out of the fridge.

"Honey, why aren't you in bed?"

I looked at him.

"I just have so much cleaning to do."

"Sara, it is two in the morning. You should be in bed."

"I'm not tired." I said, scrubbing more.

"How much coffee have you had today?" He asked

"One cup." I said

He sighed walking over to face me.

"Sara, don't lie to me."

I looked at him.

"I'm not lying!"

I stared at him as he observed me.

"You should go to bed." I said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before scrubbing again. He watched me a moment then he walked out turning the stereo down before going back into the bedroom. He closed the door thinking concerned.

I took two more pills before he came out yawning getting some coffee as I drank some water watching him. He ruffled his hair sipping his coffee in a cup then he looked at me seeing dark circles under my eyes.

"Did you sleep?" He asked

"No, by the time I finished it was time to get up, but I am okay."

"I think you should stay here and rest." He said

"Can't." I said, putting my glass in the sink. Grissom caught me by the arm pulling me to him. He searched my eyes. "What?"

"Sara, what is wrong?"

"Nothing." I said, laughing as I pushed him away.

He silently watched me shake my head at him before leaving. The shift flew by for me. When shift ended I took two more of the pills then I walked over to Grissom's office where he sat at his desk working.

"Hello husband." I said, sliding onto his desk. He sat back looking at me.

"How was shift?"

"Great!"

"How are you?"

"I have never felt better." I said

"Are you going to sleep?"

"I want to reorganize the closet."

He took my hand.

"Sara, you need to sleep."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because that closet will not organize itself." I said, standing. Grissom stood in front of me looking deeply into my eyes.

"Honey, you are acting strangely. I am worried."

I smiled moving away.

"Grissom, I am fine."

He nodded watching me walk to the door.

He came home finding me folding clothes in the bedroom.

"You're doing laundry?" He asked

"I finished the closet and decided to wash all our clothes." I said

"Sara, is work getting to you?" He asked

"No." I said, looking at him.

He walked by me going to the bathroom. I finished folding clothes when he came out ready for bed. He watched me walk out with the basket. He came out seeing I had gotten another load out.

"That can wait. You need to sleep." He said

"Grissom, if I don't do this now it will never get done." I said

He pulled to the bedroom.

"You are going to bed!"

"I am not tired!"

"Sara!" He said

"I need to do the laundry." I said, running out. He sat on the bed sighing concerned.

Russell found me sitting at a table in the break room writing nonstop on some paper. He walked over seeing I was working on the case. I cried with anger crumbling the paper throwing it on the floor before beginning again with a new paper.

"What are you doing?" He asked

"I am working out how the suspect got home to kill his wife and go to the casino." I said

I crumbled another paper before standing to pace.

"Sara, maybe you should take a break." He said

"There's no time for that!" I said

He looked at me feeling something was not right. His cell phone went off as he answered it he watched me.

"I got it!" I shouted, running back to the table writing. Russell walked out still talking as he looked at me from the window.

Grissom came home walking into the living room finding me lying on the couch with my arm hanging off. He walked over sitting on the coffee table reaching over touching my back.

When I didn't move he got up putting the couch throw over me. I threw up in the toilet the next morning feeling really rough. Grissom was still sleeping in bed as I stood slumped over the sink taking out two pills looking at myself in the mirror. I took them with water before sitting on the toilet seat holding my head with my hands.

Grissom jumped as I jumped on the bed dressed for work smiling at him.

"Good morning!" I said

He sat up rubbing his face then he looked at me.

"What time is it?" He asked

"Seven ten." I said

I kissed him then I jumped across his legs to stand. He watched me leave humming a tune as I walked around. Grissom came out yawning seeing I was getting ready to leave. He watched me put my cell phone in my pocket walking over kissing him then I went to door leaving.

Russell sat at his desk in his office as Grissom came in a few hours later.

"Hey Gil."

"Hello, are you busy?"

"No, sit down."

Grissom sat rubbing his hands together.

"Now what can I do for you?"

"Have you noticed that something is wrong with Sara?"

Russell sat up in his chair clasping his hands on the desk.

"Yes, yes I have."

"I was wondering if you noticed her taking anything."

"No, I haven't."

Grissom nodded before sighing.

"Do you think she is on some kind of drug?"

"I don't know."

A few days later Grissom drove to work at three hearing his cell phone go off as he parked.

"Grissom." He said

"Gil, its Russell."

Grissom knew something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" He asked

"Sara, attacked a suspect!"

"I'm at the lab. I'll meet you in your office."

Russell was on his way to meet him at the front door. Grissom could see the concern written on his friends face.

"Sara, went to an interrogation. It was going well until she freaked out. Yelling about the man's wife being beaten. He lunged at her trying to attack her. Instead she grabbed him throwing them both against the wall. Brass got her away from him and now he has her in his office."

"Come with me." Grissom said

Brass leaned against his desk watching me pace. Grissom and Russell came in seeing me. I looked terrible with dark circles and very white skin. Grissom walked over to me as Russell and Brass watched.

"What happened?" He asked

"That man beat his wife! I had him and Brass threw me in here!" I said, fidgeting.

"She had him all right, by the throat." Brass said

Grissom looked at him then at me.

"I need to get back to work." I said

"No, you're not going anywhere." Grissom said "Could you two give us some alone time?"

Brass and Russell nodded going out to stand by the door. My watch beeped and I turned it off.

"What was that for?"

"Um….nothing." I said

He touched my arms nodding.

"Can we just go?"

"No, I want to talk to you."

I pushed him away from me then I walked to the door looking out.

"Sara, sit down." He said

"I don't want to." I said

"Sit down now!" He ordered

I glared at him as I sat on Brass's couch in the corner. Grissom sat next to me watching my two hands shake in my lap.

He reached over covering them feeling them shake under his hand.

"What are you taking?" He asked

I looked at him laughing.

"Taking, what are you talking about?"

"I am talking about pills." He said, seriously.

"Grissom, I am not taking pills."

"Then what is it?"

I stood walking to the door.

"Maybe it is coffee. I should cut down." I said

He stood shaking his head.

"Coffee is not the cause of this. I want to know what is happening."

I looked at him.

"Do you trust me?" I asked

"Not like this I don't." He said

"Nothing is going on. I am fine. End of story." I said, opening the door leaving.

"Sara!" Grissom yelled, running out.

He chased me down in the locker room. I quickly hit the bottle in my locker closing it looking as he rushed in.

"We are not done talking!" He said

"I am." I said

He walked over touching my arm.

"You're not right and I want to know why!"

"Grissom, let me go." I said, staring at him.

"No!"

I pushed him hard against the lockers holding him by the neck. He put his hands over mine.

"I told you I was fine. Now leave it alone!" I said

"Are you going to throttle me?" He asked

I blinked looking at my hands then I let him go moving back. He watched me leave quickly.

Later Russell walked into the garage hearing me working. He slowly walked over.

"Ouch!" I said

He appeared and I looked at him.

"Sara, you should be off the clock now."

"I wanted to work over time." I said

He nodded looking down seeing my finger was bleeding.

"What did you do?" He asked

I lifted my hand looking at it.

"I just cut it."

He pulled my hand out so he could see.

"You need a bandage."

I let him take me to his office. My knee shook as he worked on my finger.

"Grissom, is very concerned about you." He said

"I know." I said

"All done." He said

I stood looking at it.

"Thank's."

"Sara, go home." He said

"Maybe." I said, leaving. He looked down looking at the bloody cotton ball beside him.

After I went home Russell walked into Grissom's office handing him a paper. Grissom looked at it seeing the results.

"Where did she get hold of this?" Grissom asked

"I don't know." Russell said

Grissom put the paper down on his desk standing.

"Let's look in her locker."

They both went down to the locker room where Grissom opened my locker looking inside. He took things out then reached in taking out a large prescription bottle that the label was taken off. Russell opened the bottle seeing the capsules inside.

"I'll have these tested." He said

"Don't bother. Those are the pills." Grissom said, sighing.

"What are you going to do?"

"What I have to." He said, leaving.

I was changing when Grissom came home. I came out in my pajamas seeing him walking into the bedroom.

"Grissom, why are you here?"

"I know what you have been taking." He said

"What?"

"Russell, ran a test and showed me the results. We found your pills in the locker."

I walked up to him mad.

"You went into my private locker?!"

"Yes, I did. Let me say here and now that this stops now!"

"You are out of your mind!" I said

He pulled me to him.

"No, you are! Do you know how dangerous these pills are?!"

"Yes!"

"Then why are you taking them?!"

I moved away from him sitting on the bed.

"I wasn't going to, but lately my cases have been bad. I needed something to make the pain I was feeling go away."

"You could have talked to me!"

"I know. I'm sorry." I said

He knelt down to me touching my hands.

"Sara, these pills can kill you. I don't want to live without you."

I looked down then I stood up walking around the bed opening my bedside table walking back handing him the other bottle. He stood looking at me then he opened it seeing the same pills.

"Who gave these to you?"

"Phillip from day shift." I said

He put the bottle in his coat then he walked out of the room. I heard the front door close then silence. I throw up a few hours later feeling shaky. I went to bed trying to soothe my hurting body. Grissom did come home finding me in bed. I moved sitting up as Grissom walked over.

"Where were you?" I asked

"At the lab. Russell and I have dealt with Phillip."

I winched clutching my head falling back in bed.

"Sara, you know better than to do this."

"I thought I would just take two and see what happened."

"Don't do it again." He said

"I won't." I said, touching his hand.

He rubbed my head as I laid still looking to the side.

A few weeks later I drove a Tahoe as Russell sat in the passenger seat texting someone on his phone. He sighed shaking his head then he began again. I smiled looking at the road. He looked up putting his phone away.

"Troubles?" I asked

"You could say that. I am arranging a little surprise for my wife and I to stay at this fancy hotel to celebrate our anniversary. It's become a headache."

"Grissom goes through the exact same thing." I said

"He doesn't seem the type that has any trouble planning."

"He does on special personal events. At work he is the master of planning."

"Sounds like I should take lessons from him then." He said, getting his phone out again.

I chuckled looking ahead. He began to text in silence again as I sat back thinking about Grissom. He wore a suit to go to a trial at the court house. I smiled remembering that I almost made him late when I kissed him in the kitchen making him frazzled.

"Sara?"

I jumped looking over at Russell. He smiled looking at me.

"We need to turn on the next right."

"Oh, sorry." I said

We worked the case at the apartment building coming back. I was still distracted by Grissom in a suit. Russell chuckled at me as we walked and I banged into a door in the lab. Grissom came into the lab wearing his work clothes making me disappointed when I saw him.

"You're not wearing your suit." I said, walking in frowning.

"The trial has ended, so I went home and changed." He said, facing me at his desk.

"I like you in a suit." I said, touching his shirt.

"I know you do."

I smiled smoothing my hand over his stomach. He looked down then at me.

"Something on your mind, dear?"

I looked at him slowly moving forwards kissing him. He put his arms around my back kissing me back. I moved back searching his face.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just wish we could spend some down time with each other."

"Do you want to help me with paperwork?"

"No, I meant outside of work." I said

He sighed clasping his hands together on my lower back.

"Well it has been awhile since we have had a special evening. I suppose I could take a shift off."

"Would you do that?"

"For you I would do anything." He said

A week later Grissom took a Friday off to be with me. He took me to a nice restaurant then we went to a hotel on the strip. Grissom tipped the man carrying our bag in then he closed the door looking at me as I stood by some big windows looking down at the bright lights below. He walked over putting his hand on my back as he looked out.

"I love this town." He said

"Me to."

He turned to me looking at my dress then at me. I smiled looking at him.

"You have been doing that all night." I said

"What?"

"Looking me up and down."

"I like what I see."

I kissed him slowly as he groaned pulling me closer. He ended the kiss to move his lips along my cheek to my neck and shoulder.

"What time is it?" I asked, closing my eyes.

"About ten." He said

"We should move over to the bed." I said

"I have to use the bathroom then I will be right out." He said, letting me go to grab the bag then go to the bathroom. I turned the lights off taking my dress off. Grissom came out in his robe looking around at the dimly lit room.

"Sara?"

"Bed." I said

He moved taking his robe off sliding into the bed. I moved straddling him as he sighed looking up at me.

"I want to be on top, is that okay?"

"Yes."

I smiled leaning down kissing him. After we exhausted each other we went to sleep. Grissom was the first to wake moving he looked over seeing me across the bed lying with my back to him. He moved over kissing my back.

"Sara?"

I didn't move pretending to sleep to see where this was going. He sighed moving my hair kissing my neck. I squirmed inside wanting to turn over and kiss him. He laid back putting his arm over my waist as his hand touched my stomach.

"I know you're awake." He said

I chuckled moving to face him.

"How?"

"Your heart rate was up meaning you were aware that I was near you."

"I had fun last night." I said, tracing his face.

"Me to."

He moved his head back some so he could look over my face.

"I dreamed last night that you and I had a baby." He said

"What happened?"

"We lost it in the supermarket."

I smiled as he smoothed back some of my hair.

"That sounds realistic." I said

"What are your feelings about that?" He asked

"About a baby?"

He nodded.

"I don't know. How about terrifying?"

He smiled moving to his back.

"I thought you would feel that way."

"Are you telling me you want kids?" I asked

He turned his head looking at me.

"I think I am a little to old for kids." He said

I moved over putting my head on his chest.

"Your not old." I said

He kissed my head.

I closed my eyes letting his heartbeat comfort me. I woke feeling his side empty. I lifted my head seeing he was in his blue robe looking outside as he talked on his phone. I smiled admiring him from behind.

Laying my head back down on his pillow I watched him nod talking again. He hung up looking down in silence. When he turned he saw me looking at him.

"Good to see your awake. It's ten thirty." He said

"I must have been worn out." I said

"I think you were." He said, walking over. "I am going to catch a shower."

"Okay."

"I ordered room service. Will you let them in?"

"Yes."

He nodded walking to the bathroom. I stretched seeing Grissom had put my robe on the bed. I grabbed it walking to the window.

Grissom came out fresh and dressed seeing me sitting in a chair with the room service cart in front of me. I buttered a roll eating as he walked over pulled up a chair across from me.

"Is it good?" He asked

"Mmhmm." I answered

He smiled looking over at me before eating. After we ate he held me looking down at the busy streets below. He slowly untied my robe putting his hands inside. I leaned back closing my eyes.

"I have to take a shower." I said

"All right." He said

I felt him move away then I walked into the bathroom. He watched the door close then he got his cell phone out.

We came home feeling better.

On Monday it began to rain and it continued all week. Flooding began to take hold. I walked under an umbrella to a drain as some cops and Brass were stood in front of it.

"What have we got?" I asked

"Body of a woman floated out." Brass said

I looked into the dark drain knowing I would have to go in.

"I hate when I have to do this." I said

Brass patted my back as got my cell phone out calling Russell. He came shortly after with several people. He came in with his flashlight looking for me.

"Sara?" He called, sloshing water around as he walked into the drain pipe. "Sara, where are you?!"

"Left pipe!" I shouted

He walked over seeing me holding a purse.

"You found something?"

"Yeah, an empty purse." I said, handing it to him.

I walked on hearing him following. We walked looking around for anything that might help us. Russell stopped ten minutes later listening to something.

"Sara?"

I turned looking at him.

"What?"

"Listen."

I looked around listening hearing a noise.

"I think we should find an exit." Russell said

"Yeah." I said, walking quickly down the pipe with Russell.

The sound of rushing water became to hard to ignore. Fear of the unknown kept me moving. The tunnel seemed to go on forever. Russell looked back then ran pulling me. We saw light coming knowing we were almost out. A rush of water hit us. Russell tried to keep a hold of me, but as the water became stronger he let me go. I fell into the water as it carried me forwards at a fast pace. I tried to grab anything I could, but I failed. Russell coughed as the water thrust him out in the rain. The water flooded the cement ditch and he swam over to the steep side trying to get out of the water. I went under then up coughing as I kept trying to find something to hold on to. Russell coughed looking around for me. I came up again just wanting to give up when he leaned over grabbing my hand. I coughed as he pulled me up. He laid me beside him touching my neck.

"Are you okay?" He asked

I slowly nodded feeling the water rise to my knees. Russell looked around for some way to get up to safety.

He stood pulling me up then he started to climb the steep incline only to fall back with me into the water. He came up coughing grabbing me. He looked around again as I coughed.

"What….do….we do?!" I cried

"I'm thinking!" He said

He let the water take us forwards thinking there might be a way out. The water came rushing out again submerging us again. He came up holding onto me. I knew we were in serious trouble. Russell grabbed a bar on the side. He pulled himself up with me. Slowly we reached the top laying down at the top. Russell breathing in and out fast as I laid on my side coughing.

He stood up winching as he looked around trying to figure out where we were.

"Do you know this place?" He asked

I slowly moved looking around.

"McDowell Street." I said

He helped me up.

"About two miles from where the woman came out." I said

"Well…I suppose we will have to walk back."

I groaned nodding.

Grissom stood at the front door as we walked in cold and wet. Russell waved at him before leaving us. Grissom touched my cheeks looking at me in concern.

"Brass phoned me."

"I took a little swim." I said

"Are you all right?"

I nodded shivering.

"You better take a shower and change."

I sneezed before nodding. Grissom watched me go. I came out an hour later sneezing as I walked to Grissom's office. He shut the door behind me as I walked in. I hugged him feeling his arms rub my back.

"Your shift is over. I want you to go home and get under the covers." He said

"I still have a few hours to work." I said

"Russell wants you to go home."

I buried my head into his neck as he sighed.

"Honey, you're shaking."

He moved me back so he could look at me.

"You need to go home."

"I will." I said

He let me go and I walked out. I sneezed feeling worse as I went into the house. Laying down in bed I slept not hearing Grissom come in. He got into bed reaching over feeling my head then he laid down closing his eyes.

I coughed causing him to wake looking over at me. I moved my head stilling as I moaned. He reached over touching my head feeling the fever.


End file.
